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Pain of missed pregnancy

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view post Posted on 30/9/2023, 18:11

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Pain of missed pregnancy



s43prk
How beautiful you were when you lively kicked my belly to make mommy aware of you. When you were smaller than my fist and delicate like the petal of a rose and quietly rested inside my belly, while I was swinging on the garden swing, exposing both of us to the fresh breeze of a spring whose colors, scents and coziness I forgot, unlike your sweet wailing ringing and echoing inside me...
How sweet you were, when you feasted on me, my feelings and hopes... never ceasing to fuel my dreams, awake or not.

I will always love you, my sweet, sweet little star. Beyond time, life and death and whatever fate awaits at the end of this thorny path- despite everything.

I never held you in my arms and yet I always felt you inside me, an indivisible part of me.
I remember every feeble movement of your tiny feet and fists, clenched so hard, holding all of my dreams tightly like a miniature Atlas that bears an impossible weight on his shoulders. How your thin baby lips flexed in adorable grimaces whenever an upsetting dream disturbed your sweet sleep. I even remember how you used to dance inside me in your own special way, whenever I sung a lullaby to you.

I still feel you.
Your heartbeat has stopped and has taken away with it a part of me, inexorably withered like a flower that left a trail of colorless, curled up dead petals.
My belly feels unbearably heavy... for how long it'll be so bloated and feel so cold?
I still feel you kicking inside me but the doctors say it's just a trick of mind and hormones, a horrible prank pulled by nature called fetal ghost movement.
How can It be a hallucination if I can perceive your tiny feet kicking with all their strength my abdomen? How can I believe that you're gone when at night, the rare moments I manage to fall asleep, I still feel your little heart beat in unison with mine as if they're one?
I simply can't believe it...

...that's why I'll help you find your way out of my womb.
A mother instinct can prevails over everything, miracles can happen.
I know you still live inside me, trapped by that umbilical cord that apparently has choked you before you could see my smile, according to the doctors.
Your mom will dig her belly and free you, my dear...
It'll be just me and you, I don't need anyone else.
Mom will never, ever leave you.


"The child lays inside the sterile womb"
Days, months and endless nights go by.
He never wailed.
Cold autumn breeze, death crosses the door:
she quietly sits,
waiting the last beat by her disembowelled womb.
The infant open the eyes for the first time,
stares at her, pale.
A sweet smirk appears and he giggles.
Kneeling, Death holds the little creature between her cold arms,
Like a mom kisses his forehead,
cradling him tenderly in her arms.
The child is asleep, it's night now. He sleeps.
She wraps the newborn in rags and her long pitch black hair,
Tightly she holds him, as if he was always meant to be hers,
Pale is the infant, he'll never make a sound.
The folks weep, scream,
the bells of the church are ringing,
" pale, the infant, smiles in his sleep one last time. "





Edited by Ashley Riot - 22/4/2024, 19:19
 
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0 replies since 30/9/2023, 18:11   65 views
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